| ONE TIME I SAW A VIRGIN PRIESTESS GET KILLED One time I saw a virgin priestess get killed and I was really unhappy about it because I wanted her to escape with the hero because he was really so cute and he had such blue eyes especially after the first scene when some guy in the town called him a barbarian dog and told him he couldn't even see the virgin priestess if he had a beard on and of course the only reason he went to town at all was to see the virgin priestess and even I knew that, and I would of known it anyway even if I hadn't read the name of the movie in the TV guide, so then I remember how the virgin priestess was standing on the top of her sacred pedestal which was on top some water which really reflected her and she was wearing a shiny gold outfit which really clung to her body which was pretty good for back then, when the mob came in and she just stood there staring at them all with her hands over her head in the sacred pose, I guess, like, maybe she thought the mob wouldn't really throw stones at her with her blonde hair and all, but I really wished you would have left the temple with George Sanders, back then when he was married to Eva Gabor, who was someone and I never could figure out why she was so famous but I was watching it all on TV and hadn't even been born when the hero took George Sanders and the little virgin priestess girl, who was being trained to be a big virgin priestess, some day except for the revolution which seemed funny watching Technicolor on a black and white TV when the hero helped them to escape from the temple and they left in a really neat underground tunnel which was like a creek when all the pecan trees are overhead in a canoe but the virgin priestess, and I really liked her by now, was facing off the mob who looked like our neighbors the Fitzpatricks next door (who were white trash from Boston) and she had her hands over her head over the pond that was reflecting her and she looked so pretty you know, she wasn't a really a mean virgin priestess, after all because the only reason she had been mean to the hero was because she knew if he loved her, after all, it would only ruin him but that was at the first of the movie before it got to the end and I found out that all he had to go back to was a flock of goats out on a prairie that was even flatter than the one where I lived and, of course, by that time the virgin priestess was dead and looking even better James DeFord |